Doctor Who and Thatriot (and me)

My mind always feels blank and drained after writing and publishing a post. Is that a good thing? No idea.

So, in my last post, two minutes at the most prior to this one, I mentioned being a more supportive friend. This leaves me to wonder. Thatriot is obsessed with Doctor Who. Does that me that I should watch more than a few episodes and have something to talk with her about? Or, should I leave it, and let her enjoy discussing it with other friends? Do I have the time? Would my mom let me?

I have no idea the answers to any of these questions. It's not that I feel the need to like everything she likes (trust me, I don't), it just that I have never really given it a chance, and maybe I would really enjoy it and we could both be obsessed. But I'm not good at being obsessed. Truly. I can read a book series, get totally hooked, and then decide I don't like it anymore, just because I don't have access to the next book.

I think it comes from my bad habit. See, I got kinda used to severing my feelings. I've learned that when it comes to things, caring isn't all that important, so when it isn't convenient to want it, I quit wanting it. Just like when I got my surgery, and I couldn't eat food forever so I made myself stop wanting food. And ever since then, it has become extremely easy for me to not eat for ages. I haven't fully regained my need or wanting of food. I just can't do it. When I severe my feelings, I do it once, and never look back. Being attached to material things just doesn't work for me. They never last.

So, I want to be obsessed, but I just don't know if a) I'll even like it and b) if I can pull it off. I just wanted to be normal; attached to weird things and crazy emotional about them. I'm just not normal in anyway. *sigh* See, I'm the type of person who really isn't crazy desperate to...I dunno, live. Now, before you freak out, I mean like, well....How can I explain this? If I die, I'm fine. I'll just be happy dead. I've already had a couple brushes with death, and frankly it doesn't scare me. But then, I also find life precious, and I wanna cram all I can into it while I have to chance. But if I were to die tomorrow, I would be okay with it in terms of me, but when it comes to leaving others with things undone and unsaid, that is what would bother me. I have no fears for myself, but I fear harming others.

This got a little off topic, but that's okay. Go ahead and tell me what you think. I'm always listening. :)

~Evening Star