Paragraphs of Woe

Blogger is STILL being really stupid. :b I can't get the font to change! It says that it has changed, but this does NOT look like the font I selected. Arrgh!!!!!

SO......hmmm...school starts in like five days. I am half excited, and half....ugh. I mean, I am a little bit tired of....of my mom always needing me? I just feel like once school has started, I will have a bit of time away. I used to spend all of my time with my mom, and I did miss it for a very long time, but one gets used to being ignored. Going back is very strange to me. I had forgotten what it was like to feel needed. Mom just....she was really stressed and grumpy, and now she is starting to act a bit more like herself. I am glad, I really did miss her. It is just very exhausting to me, is all.

I guess I don't know what to write anymore. I have nothing to complain about...leastwise that I want the world to know about, even the small piece that reads this blog. I....I don't think you should be burdened with such horrible things. I...no, I shouldn't talk so close to the subject. I fear I might change my mind and break down and tell you. You are so important to me, because even if no one reads this at all, it makes me feel like maybe just one person has, and it is a bit like having an admirer. For why would you be reading about me if you did not care?

I actually have been writing a bit in my journal, lately; examining my feelings. I think that I feel lost and lonely. I need a purpose. I mean, everyone has a purpose, and all of us have so many wonderful things we could do, but...I don't know if I will ever feel confident in my ability to do anything. How is it that everyday so many people do so many wonderful things? I am so fearful of failure, which any great person will tell you is the absolute worst thing you can feel. A person who is fearful never lives, never does anything. I can't live like that. But, at the same time, I don't know if I could handle failing. I....I don't know. I wish you had all of the answers. If you could only answer my questions to enough to satisfy me. This is a very strange post. But then, I tend to do that. But...enough bearing of souls today. I think I have some pictures. I will post this and then go check.

~Evening Star